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Tree of Life by artist Coco Milla

It’s been a minute. And it will be a bit more before I’m back all the way. (I’ve never left, to be clear.)

I thought it’d be sooner than this. I really did. I expected to be finished with 150 Years, that it’d be published and I’d have a TED Talk under my belt or something equally aspirational/inspirational. I expected a lot out of the past four years that haven’t happened, and honestly…I don’t if those expectations are realistic or even possible for me at this point.

But…and I hope you knew there was a but coming…I’m not out of this. My goals for WSE from 2018 and earlier might not be quite doable now as they were then. I’m not convinced that they were doable then, but that’s a separate blog entry.

Presently, I’m looking at how I can go about the original goals today, making adjustments that hopefully make sense today instead of trying to force ideas from yesteryear. To that end, I’m going to be revisiting WSE’s Articles and declared business aims.

For transparency reasons, I will state publicly that I’m considering shifting the business aims and NPO status, but no firm decision has been made at this time. Especially with the pandemic and how much has shifted (necessarily) during such international and domestic social upheaval.

There are a lot of thoughts, but no decisions. I just wanted to ensure that I updated publicly what’s going on, and that I’m still here.

Cheers

Freak Flag Friday featuring Feminista Jones (and a bit of #FBF – ProsePetals Style)

[Placeholder for an image of the purple Mardi Gras hat that WordPress is having difficulty carrying over to this entry. I chose my purple Mardi Gras hat for a few reasons. First, back in the early days of ProsePetals, back in those dAys (linked below), the purple “pimp hat” emoji was what I used when I was promoting fellow writers and artists (the “pimp hat” and its purpleness always brought an eyeroll & a chuckle). Second, I still love promoting people – whether they be writers, artists, educators, colleagues, therapists, scientists…connecting and building means honoring others. Third, FJ & I wound up in NOLA at the same time, and within probably three blocks of each other a few years ago, and I missed an opportunity to meet one of my sheroes. Sigh 🙂 Fourth, and most importantly: #purpleisahabit ]

(YNOPICS? I am not adding photographs of FJ here, because I did not seek out her permission prior to posting up something; I wanted this entry to be a happy surprise, and I respect her way too much to put up pictures of her without her express, advance consent. So that and the WP cock-up above with the placeholder are the reasons there aren’t any pics in this blog entry. If ya wanna know, you can go a’googlin’…)

With things here in WSE shifting and all the different updates that are happening behind the scenes, I haven’t posted the entries I had previously planned for last month and this month. That’s okay, though, since I’m starting something here I’m choosing to call Freak Flag Friday (as in, baby let your freak flag fly!). This won’t be every Friday, since with everything going on, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to feature someone every single Friday, or even one Friday per month at this point. I’m sticking with random for now…with the aim of one per quarter or so…and building up to monthly as time goes by.

I still plan on returning to Hump Day funnies for midweek entries…and maybe resurrecting Dr. PruthPetals Westhummer’s old character from the dustbins remaining in storage over at dAt other place from back when…well, back when ProsePetals was my only online moniker, back before I actually got the formal title, and suddenly PruthPetals Westhummer wasn’t as funny (or real) as Dr Weirdz — since, well, I’m not pretending to be someone doing something — I’m me really doing that something…without the poorly-written accent I can’t imitate anyway, but that I’ve always loved listening to, since I adore Dr. Ruth…really and truly. I just haven’t yet quite figured out how I will coalesce these things in a fun and hopefully meaningful way. Which is what the Freak Flag Friday idea is all about. It’s the idea of featuring someone I admire…someone who has a strong voice in the world I navigate (personally, academically, and/or professionally). They don’t have to be a sex educator or therapist. They don’t actually have to be in the “World of Sex (Education)” at all — but there must be a reason connected with WSE. I have a large list of people I hope to feature…for all kinds of different reasons, so, here we go.

Over in WSE’s Facebook page, for today’s Freak Flag Friday feature, I posted about Feminista Jones. I haven’t posted about her in this blog before, though I’ve shared and promoted her over on my personal blog more than once. She is amazing. There are plenty of reasons I admire her (as a woman, as a parent, as a writer, as an activist, as a professional, as a leader)…but here in this blog, I have to be more specific. I can’t just feature anyone here. Over in the places I’m ProsePetals, I can say whatever I please, without too much regard for certain rules that I abide by and enforce here in this space…which is dedicated to parental sex education — which I will be explaining further in upcoming blog entries (especially after that thing that happened with Jay & Silent Bob…yikes!).

Here, the focus is sex education, focused on parents primarily — parents of kids at different ages and stages of development, parents of adult children, parents of aging parents (yes, sex ed still matters for our parents, if you’re fortunate enough to still have yours with you), the list goes on. My focus is mainly on parents, but the overarching focus is sex education for everyone, and I mean this in terms of: Comprehensive, all-inclusive, sex-positive, body-positive pleasure-focused sex education. To include realms of paraphilia (more commonly known as “kink”) that are typically outside the “standard heteronormative” world of sexual folks (and I know few within the Ace umbrella who care about this topic one way or another).

The entire BDSM world (and everyone who treasures enthusiastic consent) was slapped in the face by the author of the “50 Shades” (travesty) trilogy. No matter how many times I’ve been asked (too many) if I’ve read those books (yes), what I personally think of the books (not much) has nothing to do with whether or not I would “recommend” them to anyone (depends). To me, the trilogy wasn’t really altogether different from the Sleeping Beauty Quartet by A. N. Roquelaure (one of Anne Rice’s pen names)…which used to be a trilogy until Rice herself jumped back into the quasi BDSM/”rough sex” fantasy arena. But neither Rice nor James did their homework…at least not even halfway thoroughly.

Their fantasy realms trade authentic and potentially meaningful stories within and about “The Life” for cheap and trite storytelling devices (virgin/esque, prince, and baby makes three bullsh…*ahem*) that are often incredibly abusive (even while promoting consent in a backhanded and underhanded way that their characters, and most especially the lead female characters, are not generally considered as deserving OF consideration for consent). And do not get me started on the so-called mental health “angle” on the “male lead” characters in those stories and how stigmatizing of mental illness plays into some of the worst aspects of humanity, then tries to point at “rough sex” (which is really rape) and completely misjudges the BDSM world for such wrongheaded bullsh…*ahem*…and they trade those things because sex sells. It does, and big. This isn’t any shock to anyone  …I hope.

This also isn’t to suggest I discourage anyone from reading them…far from it. I encourage folks to read, period, and to read about sex. Read about sex for education and for pleasure! To include either the trilogy and/or the quartet. If the BDSM world is something completely new to you, and you want to try something new with your partner (or on your own, if you’re single)…well, cool. I won’t yuck on anyone else’s yum  (I judge exactly nobody in this area, period).

I’m just sayin’ that if an authentic, hot, meaningful, hot, human, hot story told from the Kink perspective is what you’re lookin’ for, then you won’t find it in those books mentioned above. There are other, far better writers in this particular realm, and I have a few personal favorites whose copies on my WSE shelves are treasures to me. Truly. Including Push the Button.

(Did I mention hot?)

Now, I could sit here and tell you what all I love about PtB, but I am not one who believes in giving away spoilers. I read it in small chunks that FJ shared at the time, and I was always excited for the next entry! So of course when it was published, you bet I supported her! Oh…yeah, I mentioned that it’s hot…and that it tells an authentic, meaningful, human story from the Kink perspective. I could point you to her Amazon bio page, which tells readers that FJ is an “award-winning writer and blogger who focuses on health and well-being, specifically in areas of mental health, sexual health, and physical health” who “has been regularly featured on Huffingpost Live, has appeared on the Dr. Oz Show and the Exhale Show, and her work has been featured on C-SPAN and MSNBC” — those things are awesome, of course, and lend credibility to her influence as a leader. The fact that those things are true aren’t why I chose to feature her.

I could also sit here and try to tell you that it’s because of my alter-ego, ProsePetals, and the love of poetry. I could sit here and encourage you to check out FJ’s other book, The Secret of Sugar Water, whispering sweet nothings about how Prosey positively swooned upon learning that FJ’s poetry was in a book. I could…and I just did…but that also isn’t why I chose to feature her.

Earlier in this blog, I noted that I have certain rules that I abide by and enforce here in this space. Those rules have to do with any individual I might feature in the future, and my actual reasons for featuring them being aligned with the mission and vision of Weird Sex Ed, Inc., as an organization. That is more important than being aligned as individuals (which is nice, too, of course, but…) – it’s actually something expected of WSE, whenever I post about anything here. There are actual official rules that oversee nonprofits, so…*shrug* I’m simply abiding by what they set forth.

Which brings me to this:

“She is currently the Love & Sex section editor at BlogHer.com. She co-hosts a sex-positive feminist podcast called This Week In Blackness: After Dark, which discusses topics related to sex and sexuality, race, and feminism. Feminista has been featured in several online publications, notably as a contributor to Salon.com, TIME.com, columnist at Ebony.com, and has been syndicated in TheRoot.com and TheGriot.com.”

Feminista Jones is admittedly one of my personal sheroes — I’ve been following her for a very long time, even before WSE was an idea (much less an organization), before I finished either of my most recent degrees, actually. Her Knob-Slobbing Feminism blog was one of the first I added to the “prosaic mosaic” over in pros/e/yes (most of the entries there are currently archived while everything with ProsePetals and WSE is under construction) – and I know she was in my blogroll in my previous blog. I began following her because she and I share intersectional interests, and pursue similar pathways, professionally (if in different fields and with different focal points). Crossing her path was probably inevitable for me, given the pathways I explore as a phenomenologist focused on human sexuality and education…with emphasis on parents.

The more I’ve read FJ write about culture, feminism, health and wellness (physical and mental), body image issues, women’s issues, street harassment…as I’ve been enriched by her willingness to share what she observes on her travels, snippets of her daily life, her beautiful son…whether in twitter or instagram, or even back before the Facebook fiasco happened (sigh)…the more I’ve read her, the deeper my admiration has grown. Before I decided to write this entry, I made sure that I gave the less-cleaned up version of this tribute to one of my favorite writers directly to her over in Instagram (and I got hit right in the feels when she replied).

Here, she is featured because of who she is as a professional in our shared field, and why she is respected by me as a fellow leader, educator, writer, all-inclusive, sex-positive, body-positive parent who also happens to dig poetry and steamy writing that tells a meaningful story. (And I still gave no spoilers.)

Go to her page and send love and support! Keep up with her (or try!) over in Instagram! (You know how to google the other ways to follow her…do it!)

P/L/S
~dw

Coming soon: What’s happening with “Sex & Parents: 150 Years of Sex Education in the United States” – will cover what’s happening with the business and the book. Also ProsePetals’ “Bloodletting” may intersect with Weird Sex Ed…inadvertently, because of a question from a parent that goes into the subject of when young boys are raped by older peers. Because of that, “Backseat Drivers in Lovers Lane” will need to also be discussed. Watch this space!

Dr. Weirdz Meets Jay & Silent Bob!!!

So yeah, THIS happened last night! My husband and I had a date night last night down in Salem (OR), and went to Jay & Silent Bob Get Old at the Elsinore — and it was fantastic! (yeah, there’s video…*gulp*)

That happened. Lordy. When I’m finished writing the book, I plan to give copies – if possible – to both Kevin and Jay. Their daughters are at very different stages (college-age and toddler, respectively, as I understand it) — but hopefully, the information in there will both be …well, maybe worthy of the title of Yoda. If nothing else, maybe it’ll bring a few chuckles. Who knows? 🙂

Anyway, wanted to share a quick update, since I haven’t been posting a lot here lately. I WILL be posting more, and soon…there are LOTS of business updates to share about WSE and the direction the business is going. Watch this space!

P/L/S
~Dr. Wirtz XO

Mansplainin’ in the Sex Ed Realm (Even When the Main Focus is on Vulva-Owners)

 

Happy Fried Day! Today’s post is to address briefly what it is that I do (for those who don’t know), and to address my approach, as well as my target audiences. I am also addressing something that has now occurred enough times as to be slightly more than off-putting, given what it is that I actually do, and how I respond when it occurs.

I am a sex educator. More accurately, I’m a phenomenologist, but trying to explain that… or spell it out… or ask “which ‘Phenomena’ song” is my favorite… Sex educator is simpler. Easier to understand. So I go with that most of the time. That may change in the future, though.

I have two advanced degrees and am a few months from finishing my third. I hold an MBA in HR management, a doctorate’s degree in management/organizational leadership, and am presently finishing a law degree (non-Bar pathway — meaning, I will not ever be, and have no interest in ever being a lawyer). My career background is predominantly in health care, and my organizational focus within WSE is sex education for parents. I educate parents of children of all ages and genders, but my primary, targeted focus is parents of teen and young adult daughters. The reasons for this focus have to do with the statistical realities connected with women between the ages of 15-24 years being the highest demographic adversely affected by STI transmission. But there’s more to it, because of the phenomenological element.

That said, yes, I am a firm believer in all-inclusive, sex-positive, body-positive comprehensive sex education for all people, irrespective of gender, sexual orientation, life stage, religious influence, et cetera. I am an advocate of enthusiastic consent and pleasure-based education. Within the specific frame of Weird Sex Ed, I am continuing to research for the purpose of publishing materials for parents, as well as other population groups, based on the specific needs of those groups.

The overwhelming majority of my clientele are vulva-owners (and I state it that way purposefully, out of respect for gender-inclusivity). While I am educated about all genders (and am continuing to learn from others with greater knowledge than I have)… while I consult with parents and other adults regardless of their genitalia… while I possess above-average knowledge and understanding of the penis/testes/etc… my main focus is not penis-owners. Nothing against them…I happen to adore many penis-owners (I’m partnered with one, and am the mother of two of them, and have several who are respected friends and colleagues). They’re just not my primary focus in my research and consulting…and I don’t expect that to change anytime soon. I am here for them should they have certain questions that I am capable of answering (if I can, I do; if I can’t, I direct them to someone who can answer more completely than I am able).

So when I receive messages from certain penis-owners (and here, I’m speaking specifically of cis-gendered men), I try to ensure that they are first aware of who my target audience is before engaging whatever it is they are messaging me about. Usually, that is sufficient. Sometimes, though…

Today, I received a message from a young man (mid-20s) who is a zealous intactivist and a proponent of foreskin restoration. This is not the first time I have been contacted by someone who happens to be an intactivist (I happen to share a very similar personal view with respect to routine male infant circumcision, as it happens), nor is it the first time I’ve been approached and asked if I know about foreskin restoration. The previous times it has occurred, the outcomes have been mixed. The end of the “worst” encounter, the person called me a “cunt” after I finally reached a point of stating that, “no…I’m not going to focus on this subject because it is not my area of expertise.” Another time, rather than have a repeat occurrence of having to block someone, I simply thanked them for their information and quietly disengaged. Today’s encounter was mild compared with the worst one…but I had to be a bit firm with the young man, because he could not really seem to grasp that he was mansplaining to me.

Now…let me pause here for a moment and clarify something. I detest most mansplaining, but I am reasonable enough to come right out and say that there ARE some topics that, really, only penis-owners can explain in terms of lived experience. A penis-owner’s lived experience is something I -really and truly- don’t mind a bit of mansplaining about, because I do not own a penis. I do not have the lived experience of what that is like, and I have (more than once) asked different penis-owners I know (my partner, my adult son, trusted friends) for information based on their actual lived experiences that I cannot possibly ever speak to from a first-person perspective. Are we clear about that?

THAT said, after a few clarifying questions, I was able to discern a few things (as well as correct a few things he was asserting), and AFTER I explained what it is that I do…the fact of the majority of my clientele being vulva-owners…and that I was happy for him that foreskin restoration is something that is working out for him — AFTER all that, he continued to provide a novella of explanations about foreskin nerve endings, expressed “sorrow” for my partner having been circumcised as a child, told me what I “will” be surprised by in the sense of how many health professionals “don’t know” about foreskin, told me what “will” happen to my partner in a few years, and asserted that I “need” to watch some documentary about circumcision…this huge laundry list of things (that did, in fact, tap into what was MRA territory, which I have exactly zero patience for on a good day)…AFTER all that, he denied that he was *pushing* his preferred agenda onto me…that he “just want people to be educated on this subject that’s all.”

That…even AFTER I provided him a fully substantiated rebuttal to his inaccurate statistics, his incorrect assertion of “no medical need” (like, ever), his statement that “98% of Europeans are intact” (I’m partnered with a European man, and I’m up to speed on which specific countries in Europe actually have that specific statistic, but it’s not the entirety of Europe by far – since Europe isn’t a monolith any more than any other continent)…AFTER I provided the actual information and statistics (American and global)…AFTER that, he said he wasn’t pushing and just trying to provide education.

To a sex educator.

In the end, my response was rather curt, because I was tired of it, and it was turning into a time suck, as I had actual work that needed to be done. Make no mistake, I love being a sex educator, and I am happy to work with people of all genders. I can do without people insistent on mansplaining to me, though, unless I actually ask for a man-specific point of view. Further, when I smell MRA mode (which I didn’t address because I did not feel like getting sucked into that quagmire), I tend to shy away. So I’m going to put this here, just for future reference…

Yes, I am a quiet intactivist…on a very personal level. Where this connects with WSE has to do with educating parents, and more specifically pregnant people carrying a fetus that will eventually be a penis-owning person, along with parents of uncircumcised penis-owning little people. Hygiene is one of the foundations of comprehensive sex education, so knowledge about foreskin care IS most certainly part of what I educate about. I am highly critical of the routine practice of male infant circumcision without an actual medical condition necessitating the procedure. This is my personal stance, and not something I write a lot about.

However, when we step into the area of foreskin restoration (something I know a little about, am supportive of for penis-owners who wish to pursue that), that is not something I am quite as interested in…and it’s nothing whatsoever to do with “men’s rights” or somehow placing penile health in a “lesser than” category. Far from it. When I have some random dude in my WSE inbox, though, preaching to me about how important their foreskin is, I can’t help but wish to point out that the VAST majority of medical literature is man-centric in the first place, when discussing anything connected with sex and reproduction. Further, an average, healthy circumcised penis-owner generally experiences penile pleasure, regardless of the lack of a foreskin.

MEANWHILE, the number of vulva-owners who do not know the scope of their own pleasure potential is mind-boggling. The overwhelming majority of vulva-owners do not know that their clitorises are not merely the external “button” — but an entire (and rather large) organ that exists solely for pleasure. Furthermore, there are hundreds of thousands of vulva-owners who experience issues related to their pelvic floor that they have NO idea how to resolve…but I’m going to be told by a penis-owner that I “need” to talk more about foreskins?! Yeah…no. That’s not why I’m here.

So I’m putting this up for the sake of the …ahem… gentlemen among us (well-meaning or otherwise) who would like for me to focus more (or solely) on them and their needs…to which my answer is simply NO.

With that, have a wonderful weekend!

Cheers,
@Dr.Weirdz

elvie? yes, please. (a brief follow-up)

As noted in a couple of previous posts, I’ve been reviewing different avenues of pelvic floor strengthening. I was admittedly hesitant on the elvie for a couple of different reasons.

The first reason was the fact of Gwyneth Paltrow’s endorsement of it. As a sex educator who actually cares about clinical reliability, I share Dr. Gunter’s disdain for Paltrow and her pseudoscience products and recommendations. You can read some of those comments here, or here, or here…or see the latest fiasco where GOOP tried attacking her here, with Dr. Gunter’s response here. So I’m not particularly keen to seek out a celebrity endorsement (from anyone, really, but particularly the woo-woo bot called Gwyneth).

The second reason for hesitance was the price — elvie costs $199. Fairly, that price is steep, and comparable price-wise with products GOOP happens to sell, which are mostly luxury items geared toward those who can afford to spend $85 for a bag of stones that can be purchased in any Arizona mineral shop for $5-10 (and they do this by labeling it “Inspired by the Shaman’s medicine bag from various indigenous traditions”) — what a load of horse manure. Now it so happens that elvie is listed in GOOP, but it’s also listed in Amazon, and on its own website — all for the same price, as it happens (why anyone would purchase it via a place like GOOP is beyond me, but hey, I’m not judging others’ personal choices). Whatever. To each her own, I suppose.

For some, the notion of an app for a kegel exercise program seems a bit far-fetched (understandably), but biofeedback is helpful. Knowing that you’re doing the exercise correctly is also helpful, especially since the overwhelming majority of women simply “doing their kegels” are doing them inconsistently and/or incorrectly. Are there other, less costly options? Yes, I’ve looked into several of those, and the problems I’ve encountered are two-fold. First, they have to be done regularly. Daily, ideally (except while menstruating). Most products I’ve seen and looked into have schedules that are 15-20 minutes at a time, which seems reasonable until you consider many women dealing with conditions that bring on the need for the exercise are also dealing with curious little humans who follow them everywhere (no matter how much we love our children, having alone time is precious and rare as it is without a little human asking what we’re doing, much less aiming for imitation), not to mention slipping away from a desk for 20 minutes randomly isn’t exactly ideal (and cuts into the lunch hour significantly). That, and the general inconvenience of trying to walk around with a weighted something or other up inside (because multi-tasking is a general skill many women possess out of necessity, and the shape of the weighted inserts make the likelihood of “slipping-outage” much higher). So, inconvenience is a key reason why many women don’t make correct kegels a part of their daily routine. Second, even if there is daily availability for upwards of 20 minutes to dedicate, that dedication typically involves removal of clothing with several different devices (not to mention some seriously quirky exercises if one is pursuing something like Pompoir — which go even longer, upwards of 1-1.5 hours unclothed from the waist down).

Unlike these other options (which I’m not knocking…if a woman is dedicated to any of those things…great), the elvie is five minutes…tops. It can be done before getting out of bed in the morning (save for the brief time to wash it prior). Or at the end of the day while getting ready to go to sleep. Or on a bathroom break at work. It is literally that quick. The app provides the daily reminder, and the process is pretty straightforward. The only “downside” (if we can call it a downside) is the time required to wash the device, but this downside applies to anything we put in our vaginas…they’ve gotta be clean before and after. So that’s not really a downside, in my view, but a simple matter of hygiene that is necessary for any exerciser designed to aid with kegels. Water-based cleaners, only, folks…same stuff that is designed for toys…LELO has a great water-based cleaner that is reasonable, and can be gotten here.

I’ve noted that several articles discussing the elvie mention that it’s “cute” — which, while that is actually true, is totally irrelevant. To me, it looks like a mint green sperm with the tail rolled over itself. I suppose one could call that “cute,” but I was less interested in what it looks like than what it does, and what it does is provide real-time feedback on variety exercises performed internally with the express purpose of strengthening the vaginal muscles to improve weakness in the pelvic floor. There are several other mechanical exercisers out on the market — some more and some less pricey, but the elvie was the only one I found that actually set goals based on the initial baseline (unique to the individual), and provides comparative feedback from previous workouts immediately. For me personally, this is one of its best features, because it is this feature that I was wanting to better understand in my own exercising, where previously, it was a bit of guesswork centered around whether or not I was experiencing “sneeze pee” (which has improved, undoubtedly, but the degree of improvement was impossible to actually know).

As for an area that was difficult to discern at first was whether or not to use the elvie with the “sleeve.” This depends on the individual, of course, and some of the reviews have commented to this point. What I found was that, yes, I could perform the exercises without the sleeve…at first…but the results were inconsistent (which is, in part, because of vaginal wall weakness that develops over time, especially having vaginally delivered babies). Using the sleeve has resulted in the exercises being more efficient for me, personally, though for other women the device alone may be perfectly sufficient.

One thing that I would point out – to anyone considering purchasing any kegel exerciser – before you take even start looking into which might be better for you, make sure you talk with your gynecologist and determine if you have any sort of prolapse…even a very mild one (and often, a mild prolapse may be unnoticeable by you, and your gyn might not point it out if you’re not experiencing any discomfort or complications with it). Reason being, a kegel exerciser can aggravate an existent prolapse. I’m not saying that it will with certainty, just that it can, and I would urge anyone to discuss introducing any new exercise regimen to discuss it with their physician, if such regimen could cause possible harm. This type of exercise regimen is no different, and pelvic health matters, so be sure to check with your gynecologist first.

Reviewing “Whole Woman” — a few years after the hoopla

Hi all!

Today’s entry is a bit of a review (of sorts) of “Whole Woman,” founded by one Christine Kent who claims all sorts of studies support her particular view of postural issues being the main culprit for prolapse (uterine, bladder, and/or rectal). I recall thinking, the first time I went to her website, that if the focus is *whole* women (what does that actually mean?!), why is the sole focus on the vagina? — but to be fair, that was the feminist skeptic in me that bristles at the notion of women being reduced to our genitals (since it isn’t merely the presence of a uterus and vagina that defines women, and I loathe the TERF-iness of any outfit that dismisses transwomen for “natural reasons”). But I shelved that initial impression, and -because I’m largely overwhelmed with research- contacted a trusted friend to do some compare/contrast.

Meanwhile, during my own downtime (which is limited), I’ve been exploring other areas connected with matters of prolapse, along with urinary incontinence experienced by women post-childbirth and/or perimenopausal (with or without having had children) because of the hormonal association with decreased pelvic organ strength. What piqued my attention back to Whole Woman, though, was the ability to become a “practitioner” through Ms. Kent’s program…and the support of the program by one Dr. Christiane Northrup. I became curious about her after reviewing the application to the Whole Woman program, since sure…I thought about it, and was very curious why there aren’t any practitioners in Oregon (of all places!). Make no mistake, I’m not in any way averse to holistic care and intervention where it makes sense, but the support of a bona fide MD would seem to present legitimacy to the strange postural practices espoused by Whole Woman, right? Hmmm, then looking into Dr. Northrup herself, my skepticism meter went a little haywire. I don’t care what honorific one has after his or her name, a quack is a quack is a quack.

Looking more closely at the practitioner application for the 2018 training, a few things stood out to me starkly.

From page 3, one Carol Bilek (Senior Whole Woman Practitioner) is touted as one of the primary instructors, and her honorific is MEd., which means she has a master’s degree in education. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but a retired special education teacher is not exactly the first person I would consult about a prolapse.

From page 5, “While Whole Woman has been established as a modality by the International Institute for Complementary Therapists for the purposes of obtaining liability insurance in a number of countries, there is no licensing requirement in the US. Other countries may have other requirements. This is another reason why women with existing practices may have a licensing umbrella under which women can integrate the Whole Woman work.” — this sent up all sorts of alarm bells (mainly legal, in terms of liability).

Also from page 5, “You must have a uterus. Our experience in working with post-hysterectomy clients makes it clear that women without a uterus can no longer experience what women who still have their uterus can feel for themselves. This has been a difficult decision, and we regret any disappointment it causes our post-hysterectomy friends. However, we feel it is a critical qualifier.” — so a woman who has had a hysterectomy is no longer a “whole” woman. How nice.

From page 6, and probably the biggest red flag for me, was “You must understand and be committed to the Whole Woman philosophy and work. If you are continuing to look to your doctor for guidance, or are committed to traditional approaches of Physical Therapy or Yoga lineages, this program probably isn’t for you.
Traditional postural models are demonstrably inaccurate. If you are unable to let go of traditional approaches, it is unlikely that you will be an effective Whole Woman Practitioner. We are not asking for a leap of faith. We have exhaustive research to back up every Whole Woman assertion. But we have found that those women who will not let go of their traditional beliefs about Western medicine and Yoga are rarely successful in applying Whole Woman methods in their own lives.
We are not against either Yoga or Western medicine. Quite the contrary. However, where research has shown problems or inaccuracies with these systems, assumptions and practices need to be challenged. A challenge to assumptions or practices is not to be construed as judgment about the entire system.” — and yet, the “exhaustive research” is where is the major question mark happens to be. If the research is so very exhaustive, why not present it plainly? That question got me a bit curious, so I went to Amazon where Ms. Kent’s book is sold (for around $35-40 — a bit steep for trying to “save all women” — there again, not as steep as the “Kegel Queen’s” $299 book, so I suppose that is a plus.)

I read through the rest of the application, closed it up, and went to Amazon, where Ms. Kent’s book is reviewed, and came across this review:

Take a quick glance at wholewoman.com and click on the forum link to the left. Under emotional issues you will find a post by Christine Kent herself written February 29th, 2012 with the title ‘Amazon Reviews’. There she complains about a poor customer review on Amazon and asks her ‘followers’ to write positive reviews. I found this alarming although I’m not at all surprised after I purchased this book and found it to be of no value. Thankfully I have found OTHER alternatives that changed my life even though according to Christine Kent that’s hardly possible! If a book is good the author doesn’t need to tell a sob story to get positive reviews. The book will speak for itself without that.

…followed (inevitably) by several of Ms. Kent’s supporters on a rampage. That entry can be found here, and I find it astonishing that someone who is SO VERY CERTAIN of her program would ask people to do what she asked…though I’m less surprised that her supporters agreed to obey, since that’s what cult members do, after all. Likewise, when engaged by the “Kegel Queen,” Ms. Kent’s defensive maneuvering was equally transparent.

Further, as I have chronic lower back issues, the postural “modality” presented by Ms. Kent is impossible for me. Even though I possess a uterus, which still “qualifies” me, I don’t know if I could ever physically perform the PT-refuted postural “treatment” suggested, which never mind the quackery, I simply couldn’t do it…even if I were interested in becoming a Whole Woman “practitioner,” which…I’m definitely not. I’m especially disinterested in a program that asserts that post-hysterectomy women aren’t “whole” women.

Note: I’m not suggesting here that other women wouldn’t benefit from Ms. Kent’s program. Far from it. I’m a firm believer in informed decision-making, and if some essential woo-woo that eschews Western medicine and yoga in favor of some radical (and mostly ineffective) postural shift, more power to ’em. I’m just not interested in throwing thousands of dollars down the toilet for a program that I know wouldn’t work for me or any woman I happen to know. If it works for others, though, that’s fantastic.

Cheers,
DW

For Post-Childbearing Women Only

(Note about the subject: I’m not referring necessarily to post-childbearing years, but women of any age bracket who have had children…or…women who haven’t had children and are in their peri-menopausal, menopausal, or post-menopausal  years.)

I’ve been on an exploration of vaginal strength for the purpose of reducing stress and urge incontinence (the two main issues I have dealt with personally). I’ve read the Whole Woman program (Christine Kent), I’ve read the Kegel Queen program (Alyce Adams), and I’ve read Kim Anami’s (#thingsiliftwithmyvagina) program. All are interesting, well-explored, and have terrific points. I’ve also explored Pompoir, (or Kabazzah) the supposed fine art of the “Singapore Kiss.” Now, I’m less concerned with “milking” my partner’s penis while riding him than I am interested in getting rid of the need for Poise products. No mistake, I’m thankful there are products out there to help women who are dealing with urinary incontinence (for whatever reason), and to Poise & Kirstie Alley for their “Second Talk” information page. We women need all the information we can get.

Which is why, of course, I provide all of the above links. I support the women who put forth the efforts to help other women, particularly in an area we’ve been conditioned to not discuss. That said, I’ve developed a hypothesis of my own that draws on all of the above information, and after I’ve finished my primary writing focus for publishing, this topic will be taking the Number Two spot for continuing research and testing of my hypothesis. In this, I will be seeking insights from women (see Note above), as well as women who are willing to participate in this research. Given that I’ve noticed very real improvements in my own body (in a matter of days, frankly), I’m looking forward to seeing where testing my hypothesis leads, seeing if it develops into a theory (in the scientific sense), and helping other women with the results.

Here in WSE, I will create a page just for this subject, and in there, I will discuss more about my hypothesis…since it draws on more than merely urinary incontinence and sexual pleasure (those things are important, but not the sole foundations of the hypothesis with which I’m working). It covers more than “just” vaginal health, but overall health.

Cheers,
Dr. Weirdz

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A Small Change

WSE has a new secretary. The amendment has been updated with the office of the Secretary of State in Georgia, and the information change paperwork is submitted to the state of Oregon, which will be complete by next week.

Curious

It’s been a bit since I’ve posted an entry here — but not out of forgetfulness. I’ve been a bit short on time to update here (yes, I know there is still much to be updated here). Still, I’m slowly working my way through projects (mainly academic). The current priority WSE project is well under way, and I should have more news on that count later this month.

Meanwhile, I was reading a fun April Fools entry by Dr. Jen, and it got me to thinking about one aspect of a future project that I’m still in the outline/development stage of: Research.

One of the purposes of WSE is continuing research, and one of my upcoming projects is connected with women in an older age bracket – peri-menopausal and older. It’s been a while since I’ve sat down and written a proper problem statement, and I’m thinking that’s definitely on the agenda before I start mapping how the type of research I suspect would be involved for what I have in mind. As will a thought-feeler out to Dr. Jen, and probably Dr. Doe, and maybe even Kim Anami…for their uniquely meaningful perspectives.

One Day Only! Amazon will donate 10x the regular percentage of your purchase to WSE!

Today only, if you happen to shop at Amazon, your purchase via AmazonSmile goes 10x further. To select Weird Sex Ed as your charitable organization of choice, click here, and search by either name (Weird Sex Ed, Inc.) or by WSE’s EIN# (47-1119314)…then shop as usual! Remember to search via smile.amazon.com (instead of just plain ol’ amazon (dot com) to continue donating to WSE without having to do anything different from what you already do!

Happy Thursday!