Vintage Prosey Project: 2014 Prioritization — 8/29/12

Updating the blog here to pull old entries from the pros/e/yes archives…in their original order. This project is simply a unification of my personal blog (with a LOT of NSFW entries) and my professional blog.

Pruthpetals Westheimer’s Windy Hump Day

Greetings & Salutations! I hope today finds you safe and dry. Here, it’s a bit breezy, which is to be expected, I suppose. Nothing compared to other places. And here, at least the rain has stopped…for now. Forecast tells me not to get comfortable, though, since more rain and thunderstorms are a’comin’…

Thinking of windy and wet things, today’s schmexytime topic is queefs. *ahem* Flatus vaginalis is the actual name of what I have even heard called “varts”…but most commonly, queefs. In researching this particular subject, I learned that there is even a Wiki entry about vaginal flatulence. Whodathunk?!

I had never heard of rectovaginal fistula – even having worked in OB/Gyn and having had three children. I don’t think the subject ever even occurred to me, much less gave me pause to look it up. I mention the condition here because queefs do not (or really, are not supposed to) have any particular odor in the way that rectal flatulence does. So if an ill wind blows (think horse snuffly sound…Whoa, Nellie!), and it actually has a shitty odor? You probably need to get checked out by your gynecologist immediately.

Otherwise, queefs are totally normal. The vagina is a finite space, and it is not a vacuum, no matter how many Black Hole jokes I hear. Things can go in…and things can (and do) come out. Including air. A word of warning, though…for my gentle readers who like to engage in cunnilingus (oh, okay, eating her out, if you must have a simple explanation): do not blow into the vagina with force. Don’t go puttin’ a hair dryer up in there, either. (Oh, the things I read about *facepalm*) Seriously…that can cause an air embolism, which can in fact be deadly. Especially if she’s pregnant – you can seriously harm her and the fetus.

If you wanna give thanks to my husband, who suggested this lovely topic, please (please!) do so @rwirtz. I know I’ll be thanking him in my own way next week, when I focus on male genitalia and conditions that men endure in the schmexytime realm. If you have any suggestions for Hump Day Educational Sessions, you are welcome to comment here (anonymously, if you prefer)…or tweet to me @prosepetals.

Happy Hump Day!

P/L/S

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