Vintage Prosey Project: 2014 Prioritization — 9/5/12

Updating the blog here to pull old entries from the pros/e/yes archives…in their original order. This project is simply a unification of my personal blog (with a LOT of NSFW entries) and my professional blog.

Happy Hump Day…bouncy bouncy bouncy

Last week, I promised I would offer a Hump Day special for the gents. There are several topics I could have chosen, I suppose…but I haven’t much felt up to researching the past few days. So, I decided to revisit a subject I’ve written about before, but maybe with a bit more of my Prosey self and less of my clinical-cap persona.

So….testiclesBalls, nuts, plums, rocks, bollocks, nads, gonads, sack (collective), nuggets, Cracker Jacks, stones, kerbangers, marbles, tenders, cullions, bells, pelotas, nutsack, bollocks, family jewels, gems, cojones, junk, package, manjigglies, Man tonsils, Knackers, Cods, love spuds, hanging brain, ornaments

Robin Williams had a rather hilarious explanation for how balls came to be via committee, complete with sound effects (that whole bit starts at 7:45, but the nutty part is at about 9:ish). According to the committee notion, the testicles serve as dual purpose storage facility and full-body reset button. Good to know.

In men’s health, quite a lot of focus is placed on the prostate, and the importance of prostate cancer awareness. I agree that this is an important subject of discussion, especially for men over a certain age. For instance, I made a point a few years ago of entering into the less-than-comfortable conversation arena with my dad about how important the “Use It or Lose It” principle is. So if I’m willing to swallow my discomfort and talk to my own dad about health maintenance, I’m not likely to shy away from anyone.

From my previous write-up, I pointed out that, “two-thirds of prostate cancer patients do not need treatment. However with testicular cancer, there are other concerns, such as the possibility of having a heart attack at a younger age. There is no way to prevent testicular cancer. The good news, though, is that it can be detected early.”

Early detection is critical, and is in fact the only protection you’ve got, since there is no prevention of testicular cancer. Fortunately, most guys I know don’t mind examining themselves. Hell, as a mother with two sons, I have borne witness to just how much boys love to man-handle their junk from a very early age. This is a good thing, since regular examination is the most effective way to detect any significant changes. The two main questions are “is there a ‘proper’ way?” and “what am I looking for?”

To answer the how…relax, cup your testicles with your non-dominant hand, and with your dominant hand, use your fingertips to feel each testicle – one at a time. Feel from the back top downward, working your way around to the front. Be sure to feel the space in between the testicles, too. If you have a partner, this can be a fun activity that is both health-focused AND pleasure focused.

As to what you’re looking for…really, anything out of the ordinary. Papilla, abnormal enlargement or shrinking (accounting for the fact that testes are asymetrical, of course), painful sensation that was not previously there. Really, just anything out of the ordinary. Aside from possible changes in the testicles, other symptoms to be aware of, including lower abdominal pain, blood in urine, and increased breast size.

None of these symptoms mean that you DO have testicular cancer, of course…they are symptoms that could indicate something else entirely. However, if you note these symptoms, they are a good indicator that you should be examined by a physician.

With that, PruthPetals Westheimer’s out. Have fun, guys!

(…is suddenly hungry for Rocky Mountain Oysters, for some reason…)

Happy Hump Day!


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