Vintage Prosey Project: 2014 Prioritization — 11/9/12

Updating the blog here to pull old entries from the pros/e/yes archives…in their original order. This project is simply a unification of my personal blog (with a LOT of NSFW entries) and my professional blog.

Fried Day Make-Up For Hump Day

*taking a deep breath and trying to ignore how I’m actually feeling right now*

So with all things American Politics clogging up my blog this past week, I completely skipped over Hump Day schmexytime schtuffs. This week’s intended topic was Labor and Delivery.

I know, I know…Hump Day is supposed to be about TEH SEXY-SEXY…but if you think about it, when we talk Penis-In-Vagina sex…practice certainly can make permanent.

Of course, this entry is not about how babies are made, or the importance of folic acid, or any of that.

I was asked a question a couple of weeks ago (and have been asked more than once) by a woman who is pregnant with her first child which delivery was my “favorite” ~ since I have endured vaginal delivery both with and without pain management AND Caesarian section.

To be certain, I did not have a “favorite,” in terms of giving birth. Labor is not called “labor” because it’s fun; and either pushing something the size of a watermelon out a hole the size of a lemon OR getting cut the hell open to pull a baby out…well, to be sure, delivery is no picnic, either.

Before you start to squick out, I’m not going to go into any graphic detail describing the process…that’s not what this entry is about. If anyone is interested in that, I’m happy to talk about it in excruciating detail…all three, even, iff’n y’d like. But *this* entry is simply about which delivery I preferred and why.

To answer that, I have to say that each delivery had its positive attributes; but if I were forced to choose which way I preferred, then I would have to say my second child’s delivery. My second child was delivered vaginally, without pain management. That was NOT by choice, though. *laughing* I’m not the “Earth Mother” sort of person, and I wanted an epidural. The delivery doctor was, in fact, on his way to get the anesthesiologist for that very epidural when I went into transition. For women who have had a baby already, when I say I went “from 2 to 10 in seven minutes” ~ you women KNOW what that means.

For those who don’t know, I’m referring to cervical dilation that happens during labor.

My second labor happened extremely fast, and nobody was prepared for it…least of all me. The doc had just left to get the anesthesiologist, the nurse had just entered the room to administer pitocin (to get my labor going…long story) and stadol (to take a bit of the edge off of my contractions). The ex kept telling me to breathe…and finally, through gritted teeth, I said, “I can’t fucking breathe…and I feel like I need to take a shit.” Those words, though said softly, caught the nurse’s attention. She set down the syringes, lifted my gown, and said, “Oh shit…you’re crowning.” And no…nobody gave a flying monkey fuck about the nurse’s profanity…lol.

In other words, there was no time for anything. I couldn’t be transferred to a delivery bed. The labor bed was simply dropped, and I was rolled into the delivery room on the labor bed. The doctor had just enough time to get in, get gloved, and play catch. That is just how fast it happened.

So…why would THAT be the delivery I preferred to the first (with epidural pain management) or the third (C-section with anesthesia)?

The recovery time. Yes, the second delivery was, indeed, the most painful of the three. Anyone who tells you that you forget the pain is LYING. You never forget the pain, even if you never actually feel it again. But, in “natural” delivery, the pain is gone almost as quickly as it is bad. I had no after-effects from anesthesia, I was able to get a shower comfortably, and do all the post-delivery “check list items” in short order, and without pain. Was I 100% comfortable? Pffft…lol…NO. Of course not! I’d just had a baby. But all things considered, I felt awesome by comparison.

Would all women prefer delivery this way? Probably not. I know women who schedule their C-section as soon as they learn that they’re pregnant. I know women who prefer water birth. Home births. Et cetera. There is no “perfect” way to deliver a baby. There is just…well, doing it. I personally hold home birth delivery without anesthetic pain management as AN ideal…and that may be because that was what I wanted and never got. Maybe it’s because I know several women who delivered in the comfort of their own bed and didn’t have to deal with all the hospital nonsense that I dealt with and that most women deal with. *shrug* In the end, though, how and where a woman has her labor and delivery is between her and her midwife or doctor.

So them’s my thoughts on that.

Happy Fried Day!


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