Vintage Prosey Project: 2014 Prioritization — 12/19/12

Updating the blog here to pull old entries from the pros/e/yes archives…in their original order. This project is simply a unification of my personal blog (with a LOT of NSFW entries) and my professional blog.

Dr. PruthPetals Westheimer’s Hump Day Special: The Gag Reflex

After several days of swimming in the deep end, I wanted to take a breath and traipse the shallow end for a bit. No, I assure you, I am not attempting to minimize anything here… I just think that when things are too serious for too long, a moment or two of levity is necessary for maintaining our sense of sanity.

Heh…yesterday, I opened a door -accidentally- that normally my gutter-minded self would not have unintentionally opened. The “door” was a very in-the-moment status update in facebook that resulted from one of my cats ralphing up a hairball, and the simple fact that I have been growing increasingly sensitive to it…in terms of my gag reflex.

Understand, too, I have a mostly cast-iron stomach for most things bodily function-related. *chuckling* Back 15 years ago, when I worked in a combination pedi-GP-ob/gyn clinic and was (unknown at the time) pregnant with my daughter, an incident transpired that forever changed my ability to not be grossed out by certain things…to the point that if I even just think about them, my stomach clenches. I worked as a medical assistant back then, and was routinely tasked (especially at certain times of the year) to perform various lab functions, including swabbing throats to test for Strep A. Such was the case when I swabbed a 5-year-old’s little throat, hit her gag reflex just right, and she hocked a huge green loogie onto the swab. (I just dry heaved, thinking about this memory…yes, in real time…)

Now, thinking back, the fact that I was in the earliest stages of my second pregnancy may well have been a contributing factor to my reaction, which was something straight out of a Jim Carrey moment…

…seriously! LOL it was really pathetic. Regardless, though, of what brought on my reaction, I have never been able to hear a “wock-chick-ptooey” sound without automatically getting that goose-flesh & watery-mouth reaction.

We have three cats here in our humble Flower Pot, and one of them (Lily) is extremely sensitive to any- and everything she consumes, save for cat food. We control our cats’ diets carefully…but we cannot possibly control Lily’s penchant for licking things…from walls to furniture to clothing to windows… You name it, she licks it. (Okay, don’t name things, you filthy-minded pervert…she doesn’t lick literally everything…and yes, I know I’m talking about licking and pussies in the same paragraph…nyuk nyuk) Anyway, about once per day (and we’re lucky if she skips a day), she yacks up whatever bile and slime is left in her belly. (I just dry heaved again, typing this…yes, in real time…)

Until recently…maybe a month or two ago…I didn’t have a problem with this, in terms of handling the hairball clean-up. (And no…I’m not pregnant…LOL…don’t even go there!) I would just encourage Lily to get to the hardwood floor instead of the carpet…wait for her to finish…then clean up the mess. Now…?

*blink*

Cat owners know the tell-tale sounds cats make before they chuck. I hear that sound and I immediately clench up. It’s as though every fellatio memory hits all at the same time and jams the back of my throat…sweartagawd, it’s just awful!! No, I’m not saying fellatio is awful, my husband would probably get very upset if I suggested that; I simply mean that feeling of gagging is awful. And to gag at the sound of something…

*smfh*

…I wonder if this is a byproduct of old age or something. Hmmm.

Anyhoooooo….Happy Hump Day!

P/L/S

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